fix: prevent phantom members — advertise pod IP instead of 0.0.0.0

Root cause: SyncStorageBridge returned bind addresses (0.0.0.0) in
PingResponse, causing peers to overwrite each other's addresses with
loopback. Subsequent probes connected to self, registering self as a
member (node_count: 4 instead of 3).

Two fixes:
- alive_node() now skips self (node_id == local_id guard)
- Advertise POD_IP (k8s downward API) in PingResponse instead of bind addr

crates/stemedb-api/src/main.rs

@@ -209,8 +209,22 @@ async fn main() -> Result<(), Box<dyn std::error::Error>> {
                 .parse()
                 .unwrap_or_else(|_| SocketAddr::from(([0, 0, 0, 0], 18180)));
 
+            // Advertise addresses: use POD_IP (k8s downward API) instead of bind address
+            // (0.0.0.0) which would cause peers to connect to themselves via loopback.
+            let advertise_ip = std::env::var("POD_IP")
+                .ok()
+                .and_then(|ip| ip.parse::<std::net::IpAddr>().ok())
+                .unwrap_or_else(|| rpc_addr.ip()); // Fallback: use bind IP (fine for local dev)
+            let advertise_rpc = SocketAddr::new(advertise_ip, rpc_addr.port());
+            let advertise_api = SocketAddr::new(advertise_ip, api_addr.port());
+            info!(
+                %advertise_rpc,
+                %advertise_api,
+                "Advertising cluster addresses"
+            );
+
             // --- Membership ---
-            let local_info = NodeInfo::new(node_id, rpc_addr, api_addr);
+            let local_info = NodeInfo::new(node_id, advertise_rpc, advertise_api);
             let membership = Arc::new(SwimMembership::new(local_info, SwimConfig::default()));
 
             // Resolve seeds via DNS (for k8s headless service names)
@@ -277,8 +291,8 @@ async fn main() -> Result<(), Box<dyn std::error::Error>> {
                 Arc::clone(&store),
                 Arc::clone(&merkle_manager),
                 *node_id.as_bytes(),
-                rpc_addr.to_string(),
-                api_addr.to_string(),
+                advertise_rpc.to_string(),
+                advertise_api.to_string(),
             ));
 
             let grpc_service = SyncServiceServer::new(SyncServiceHandler::new(bridge));

crates/stemedb-cluster/src/membership/swim.rs

@@ -410,6 +410,11 @@ impl SwimMembership {
     /// Marks a node as alive (responded to probe or refuted suspicion).
     #[instrument(skip(self))]
     pub fn alive_node(&self, node_id: NodeId, info: NodeInfo) {
+        // Never add ourselves to the members map — self is tracked separately
+        if node_id == self.local_id() {
+            return;
+        }
+
         let lamport = self.tick();
 
         // IMPORTANT: same deadlock hazard — drop RefMut from get_mut before update_node_gauges.